Inject yourself with positive genes
Inject yourself with “positive genes”
What is the secret of happiness?
Why are modern people often unhappy?
How to maintain the best state of life?
How to enter into a world full of positive spirit, full of optimistic hope, and exuding spring vitality?
Seligman, a famous American psychologist, revealed to us a completely different mental world from traditional psychology-positive psychology.
I believe that after you understand his theory, you will definitely surpass your negative attitudes of unhappiness, narrowness, anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety, etc., and face the challenges of life with more positive and constructive emotions.
A mental illness of modern people is depression. Unlike anti-social personality, their attacking energy is directed at themselves. They do not kill but kill themselves.
When faced with setbacks and challenges, when faced with the results of competition failure, some weak people think that their ability is not enough to cause failure, and they fall into deep self-blame. They feel that if an important thing fails, people will have a lifetime.Failure, life becomes meaningless.
In modern society, depression is a killer dedicated to happiness. It keeps a person alive but mentally withers.
Statistics show that more than 90% of suicides are accompanied by depression.
Studies have shown that the younger the depression, the more people there are.
It is a modern plague spreading everywhere.
With the deepening of reforms, the intensification of social transformation, the widening gap between the rich and the poor at various levels of society, and the imbalance in the distribution of benefits, people seem to be increasingly negative.
Vulnerable groups complain of unfair life and have a strong hatred for wealth, while rich people feel that they are all based on personal struggles. Success is caused by personal factors. They do n’t see the opportunities that society provides to them.And society does not talk about returns, lacks the necessary care for the weak, and has apathy.
The prevalence of individualism causes people to blame both failure and success on personal factors, and to measure life with the pragmatic philosophy of Kou the loser and Kou the loser, leading to the apathy and arrogance of the successful, the anger and complaints of the loser.
This concept of happiness, which cannot go beyond simple competition, has a detrimental effect on people’s hearts at all levels of society.
Competition is not the purpose of life, but a means of a happy life. If competition is mentally unhappy, or even painful, and competition becomes the ultimate goal of life, humanity will be destroyed by this means of increasing wealth created by itself.
Positive psychology tells us that 的 the first magic weapon of happiness is the heart of forgiveness. The happiest people are always surrounded by family and friends. They do not care whether they can keep up with the pace of wealthy neighbors.
Most importantly, they have a forgiving heart.
As Seligman, author of True Happiness, happy people rarely feel lonely.
They pursue personal growth and build close relationships with others; they measure themselves by their own standards, and never care what others do or have.
Ed Psychologist at the University of Illinois
Diener said: “For happiness, materialism is a drug.
“Even those wealthy materialists are less happy than those who don’t care how much they earn and how much they spend.
Happy people are centered on family and friends, and those unhappy people often neglect these things from time to time in their lives, at this time they will feel lonely.
Diener also believes that if you often make comparisons with rich neighbors, this will be an unhappy start.
Christopher the psychologist at the University of Michigan?
Peterson believes that forgiveness is closely linked to happiness, “forgiveness is the queen of all virtues and the hardest to possess.
The second magic weapon of happiness is to let it go. Humans are not good at predicting happiness, because happiness cannot be begged. When you pursue happiness, it disappears, and when you ignore it, it comes unexpectedly.
In fact, happiness is because you have done something happy, and when you have done something well, you are satisfied with your behavior, and you will be happy.
Many people attach great importance to happy feelings, but don’t pay attention to doing happy things, not acting, just thinking and feeling will not be happy.
A good feeling doesn’t just exist in the mind, as people think, it must manifest in behavior.
Usually when people go to some very interesting activities and reach the level of ecstasy, life satisfaction will appear, because at this time they have forgotten time and forget all sorrow.
Psychologist Chess called this phenomenon “let it be.”
According to Chess, in the process of life, people may be dealing with difficult events, may be doing brain surgery, playing musical instruments, or solving problems with children, and the impact is the same: many activities in lifeProcess is contentment in life.
You don’t have to speed up to reach the end, just let it be.
The third magic weapon of happiness is gratitude. Gratitude is also related to life satisfaction.
Psychological research has shown that speaking and writing what you are grateful for can expand an adult’s happiness.I am grateful to be alive and healthy, grateful to be free, grateful to have a bright future, and grateful for everything that others have given you in the past.
Modern economic psychology also corrects that money has nothing to do with happiness from the perspective of human perception of money.
Let’s look at an ice cream experiment published by Chinese American economist Professor Tong in 1998.
There are now two cups of Haagen-Dazs ice cream. A cup of ice cream A has 7 seconds and is filled in a 5 second cup. It looks like it is about to overflow. The other cup of ice cream B is 8 inches, but it is in a 10-foot cup.Here, so it doesn’t look full.
Which ice cream are you willing to pay more for?
If people like ice cream, then 8-inch ice cream is more than 7 inches, and if people like cups, then 10-inch glasses are also larger than 5 inches.
However, the experimental results show that in the case of separate judgments, that is, when the two ice creams cannot be compared together, people are willing to pay more for the ice cream with a small amount.
Experiments show that, on average, people are willing to spend 2.
I bought 7 ounces of ice cream for $ 26, but I don’t want to use 1.
$ 66 for 8 ounces of ice cream.
This fits the description of psychologists such as Kahneman: human reason is limited.
When people make decisions, they do not calculate the true value of an item, but use some clues that are easier to evaluate.
For example, in the ice cream experiment, people actually decide how much to pay for different ice creams based on their dissatisfaction.
People always believe in their eyes very much. In fact, visual inspection is the most unreliable. Smart businesses are good at using people’s psychology to create a “looking beautiful” effect.
Professor Kahneman’s theory has not revealed that money is different from money in a psychological sense.
The same is 100 yuan, it is the wage struggle, or the lottery won, or picked up on the road, for consumption, it should be the same.
But the truth is not true.
Of course, you will save hard-earned money to spend, and if it is a windfall, it may be spent quickly.
This proves that people are irrational in the face of money and are very subjective. Money is not a complete substitute. Although it is also 100 yuan, in the head of the consumer, two money for different sources are establishedDifferent accounts make different money and windfall.
This is the concept of “psychological account” proposed by Professor Saler of the University of Chicago.
You plan to go to a concert tonight.
The fare is 200 yuan. When you are about to leave, you find that you lost your recently purchased 200 yuan phone card.
Will you go to this concert?
Experiments have shown that most of the respondents still listen.
But if the situation changes, suppose you paid 200 yuan yesterday for a concert ticket tonight, and when you were about to leave, you suddenly found that you lost the ticket.
If you want to listen to a concert, you have to pay another 200 yuan for a ticket. Will you listen?
As a result, most people answered that they couldn’t go anymore.
But if you think about it, the two answers above are actually contradictory.
Regardless of whether you lost the phone card or the concert ticket, in short, you lost something worth 200 yuan. From the point of view of the lost money, there is no difference. There is no reason to go to the concert after losing the phone card.Don’t listen anymore.
The reason is that in people’s minds, phone cards and concert tickets are assigned to different accounts, so the loss of a phone card will not affect the budget and expenditure of the account where the concert is located. Most people still choose to go to the concert.
But the lost concert tickets and tickets that need to be bought later are all put into the same account, so it looks like it will cost 400 yuan to listen to a concert.
People certainly don’t think it’s worth it.
Money is just a physical symbol inherent to numbers. We want to have more money, but why do we want to make more money?
It is for the prosperity of life.
Why do you want to be rich, for happiness.
Making more money is not our purpose, it’s just a means.
The reason we want more money is to have more happiness and joy.
In the final analysis, people are ultimately seeking happiness in life, not having more money.
Because, starting from “maximizing utility,” the greatest utility to people is not wealth, but happiness itself.
Professor Tong believes that wealth is one of the tiny factors that can bring happiness, and whether people are happy is sometimes enough to have many factors that have nothing to do with absolute wealth.
In the past two decades, the per capita GDP of developing countries has doubled, but many studies have found that people’s happiness has not changed much and the pressure has increased.
Why is this happening?
This is because whether people are happy or not, there must be many factors that have nothing to do with absolute wealth.
When we focus on wealth accumulation, don’t ignore the increase in happiness.
In our society, resources are limited and opportunities are unequal, so wealth cannot be owned by everyone.
But happy feelings and happy moods are owned by each of us.
Cherish your happiness, only it is your treasure at your fingertips.
Related Links Emancipate You and My Positive Psychology A kind of psychology that cares about people’s excellent qualities and a beautiful heart, is called positive psychology, which is proposed and advocated by the hero of the story, the famous American psychologist Seligman.
Positive psychology changes from focusing on human diseases and weaknesses to focusing on human excellence. It has three dimensions of meaning: first, from the perspective of subjective experience, it cares about the positive subjective experience of people, and mainly discusses human happiness.Satisfaction, happiness, constructing a future optimistic attitude and loyalty to life; second, for personal growth, positive psychology mainly provides positive psychological characteristics, such as the ability to love, the ability to work, and to look positivelyWorld methods, courage to create, positive interpersonal relationships, aesthetic experience, tolerance, wisdom and spirituality, etc. Third, positive psychological qualities include one’s sociality, virtue as a citizen, altruistic behavior, tolerance of others andProfessional ethics, social responsibility and become a healthy family member.
Happiness has nothing to do with wealth.
A happy person is not necessarily a rich person, and a poor person can be very happy.
Positive people are not necessarily rich, but they must be happy, cheerful, and optimistic.
Proof of a happy life Someone surveyed some people who have won huge lotteries. If this person is an unhappy person with depression and is unhappy for most of his life, then he will be happy for about half a year after winning the prize, but after half a year, theyEmbedding in unhappiness, he became depressed again.
In other words, money can only make a temporarily unhappy person happy and happy.
But from a lifetime perspective, the happiness that money causes is short.
A psychological study shows that people with positive emotions can tolerate pain more than the average person.
Here’s an experiment that stretched your hands into the cold water.
Ordinary people stretch their hands in ice water and can only tolerate 60 to 90 seconds, but the best person in the positive mood measurement, the person who causes the highest, or a person with positive emotions often can tolerate longer.
Happy people prefer to make friends with others rather than being alone.
They are willing to reach out to living people and donate money to others. It is worthy of altruism, and they care more about the people around them, and rarely consider their own interests.
Wealth is associated with a low level of happiness. Studies show that rich people are only slightly happier than ordinary people.
The death of a loved one and the death of a spouse have an impact on happiness for 7 to 8 years.
Do you know the wonder of optimism?
Most people in the world are pessimistic, but they acknowledge that others are more optimistic than themselves.
Optimistic people have reduced life expectancy. Seligman tested 70 people with high blood pressure. Of the 17 patients who were tested as the most pessimistic, 16 died without a second attack, and 19 were tested as the mostOnly one person who is optimistic has been killed by a second heart attack.
Optimism is the first line of defense against disease.
Studies show that people with an optimistic personality are often sales champions among insurance company salespeople.
Optimistic primary school students will rarely have depression in the future, and after going to society, they will surpass pessimistic people in terms of work performance and social level.
Optimism can be formed through education. A pessimistic person can be transformed into an optimistic person through psychological training.
The “positive” seed sown by a five-year-old daughter The famous American psychologist Seligman was planted in the garden with her five-year-old daughter a few months after serving as chairman of the American Psychological Association.
His daughter’s name is Nicky.
Although Seligman has written about children, he is not too close to children in real life. He is usually busy and has many tasks to complete. In fact, he just wants to finish the farming sooner.
Nicky danced and threw the seeds into the sky.
Seligman told her not to mess around.
The daughter ran over and said to him, “Dad, can I talk to you?
“Of course,” he replied.
“Dad, do you remember my fifth birthday?
I have been repeating from three to five years old, and I have to say that this is not good and that is bad every day. When I reached five, I decided not to refuse anymore. This is the most difficult decision I have ever made.
If I don’t refuse, can you no longer be so depressed?
Seligman had a lightning shock, as if a divine revelation had appeared.
He knew too much about Nicky’s growth, too much about himself and his profession.
He realized that it was Nicky who corrected his rejection.
Cultivating Niki means seeing her potential deep in the heart, developing Niki’s excellent qualities, and developing her strength.
Cultivating children is not staring at his shortcomings, or recognizing and shaping the strongest in him, that is, the best things he has, and turning these best qualities into motivation to promote their happy lives.
This day also changed Seligman’s life.
He has lived in a dark atmosphere for the past fifty years and has a lot of unhappy emotions in his heart. From that day on, he decided to fill the heart with sunshine and let positive emotions replace the intervention of the heart.
Then, Seligman positioned this kind of psychology that cares about people’s excellent qualities and good soul as positive psychology.
Positive is exactly the kind of love. The word positive can easily cause misunderstanding. In fact, positive is relative. It is not a fixed result and final outcome. Positive is a behavioral process, including process experience.
Actively related to the personal situation, refers to the behavior of the individual to choose the most adaptable environment and exert the highest potential, is a person’s attitude to life with all the power to the limit.
A terminally ill person and a writer in a creative state, although facing different life conditions, will be the same in a positive state, and they may both be positive.
It is just that the former is the courage to know life in the fight against disease, it is just the passion that surrounds the peak experience of creation and causes life.
There is no quantitative requirement for the ratio, but the qualitative requirements are the same.
Positive can only be associated with negative indicators, or with mental unhealthy scores, and not with another positive evaluation indicator.
Positive refers to subjective feelings, including a person’s cognition, emotions, and behaviors. Positives can only be scored with their past feelings.
We cannot compare the enthusiasm of two people. Scientists and laid-off workers have their own positivity. The former is a dedication to science in the laboratory, which may actually be reflected in the dedication to hourly labor.
Positive is a value-oriented concept, not a scientific one.
Some cultural advances have different views on what constitutes positive quality.
What a good person does well is a complex question.
As in the past, we believe that thrift, chastity, humility, and silence are positive qualities, while modern society pays more attention to innovation, autonomy, initiative, and extroversion.
Most people have a bias toward positive understanding.
People realize that positive means that a person has achieved success through hard work, achieved a prominent social or economic status, and is committed to positively think of social elites, such as famous actors, entrepreneurs, richest men, sports stars, etc.
In fact, this kind of positiveness does not refer to a person’s internal positiveness or external positiveness. What we mean by positiveness is a person’s excellent psychological quality and attitude towards life.
Although the positive state does not exclude external indicators, a person in a positive state can have high external performance and high scores, and a high economic system and social composition, but the positive state mainly does not refer to these external things, this is justThe result of one’s struggle and possibility are numbers that have nothing to do with human nature.
Positive state refers to an outstanding comprehensive psychological quality and a positive attitude towards life.
This psychological quality promotes one’s love of oneself, love of others, love of the world, and happiness and happiness.
Being active doesn’t always mean that one person conquers the outside world and does everything positively and positively.
People with neurosis sometimes overly conquer the world and pursue perfection. Their desire exceeds the scope of their own abilities. They are too promising in the need and reform of the world, replacing the reality with the subjective instead of the objective.
For example, when a patient with obsessive-compulsive disorder is worried about whether to turn off the gas in his home, he feels that everything is promising. As long as I make things perfect, I will be foolproof.
However, this kind of deviance from reality can be understood as excessive desire, which is not reasonable. It is not really positive, but can only lead to the negative of contradictions and conflicts.
True positive sometimes includes a kind of inaction, an objective and truthful acceptance in the face of reality, accepting what is acceptable, doing what you can do, it seems helpless, but it is the best positive, because this situationThere is no better initiative than this.
Whoever laughs best laughs in modern competitive society. Although it compares one’s ability and motivation, it is also a contest of optimism.
Whoever laughs last laughs best.
Even placing animals and people in a desperate environment, artificially preventing them from escaping failure or punishment, a quarter of the individuals never give up, which means that there are inherently optimistic differences in the group, and a few individualsIs the most optimistic.
In the US presidential election, optimism can effectively predict those elected.
Ninety percent of the final winners are optimists.
If the parent is pessimistic, the child usually also has a pessimistic character.
Optimism can be formed through education. A pessimistic person can be transformed into an optimistic person through psychological training.
Our school and society recognize that a person’s ability and motivation expectations for success. If a person has the talent and works hard to study or work, he will certainly succeed.
But Seligman’s positive psychological research shows that failure can also occur when a person’s talent expectations are severe, simply because the person is a pessimistic person.
A pessimistic person is characterized by the belief that bad things are their own faults. The bad things that happen will last for a long time and will ruin everything in life.
When optimistic people encounter the same doom, they will think that the current failure is temporary, and each failure has its cause, not its own fault, and may be the consequence of the environment, bad luck or other factors.
For example, in the face of test failures, pessimistic people often think that they are not good at reviewing and have poor abilities. A bad test this time means that the test will never be good, and they are not in college.
Don’t underestimate this small difference. It often determines a person’s success in life, physical and mental health, and even life.
A Ph.D. student in Seligman injected mice with millimeters to arrange the mice in different environments.
The first group of mice can successfully overlap the electric shock by escaping (such as touching the switch) (optimistic group), and the second group is shocked when the first group successfully avoids the electric shock, because the former touches the switch and turns on theirElectric shock lines, they cannot escape electric shock anyway.
The third group of mice was in a non-hazardous environment.
As a result, about one-quarter of the mice in the first group had cancer, three-quarters in the second group, and one-half of the last group had cancer.
It shows that actively and effectively responding to dangers can improve immunity.
An optimistic person is a bit subjective and somewhat “stupid”.
They are accustomed to distorting the real world. When the real world is unfavorable for their development or somewhat dangerous, they ignore artificially ignoring the danger, or reduce the danger. They optimistically believe that the sky will not fall, and they will wake up and talk.